This Is What True Love Really Means (And How To Find It)

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From YourTango

People who search for “true love” set themselves up with an unrealistic expectation because what they really think true love means is that it will be easy.

And when challenges arise — there is a conflict, a miscommunication, a disappointment — it’s easier for them to give up, lick their wounds, and move on.

Expecting that a healthy relationship will be easy with the “right person” sets the bar so astronomically high that no person will ever measure up.

The myth of Accidental Love permeates our society through songs, movies, books, and poems. There is quite the obsession with the idea that True Love will just magically happen, often times “when we least expect it.”

Nothing else in life occurs this way, and yet so many believe that love operates under different universal laws than everything else.

From the moment we pop out of the womb, we are told that everything in life worth having requires an education and a skill set — everything except love.

We are sold the myth that love will just magically happen one day. True Love Seekers are awaiting the magical feeling of “falling in love” and they wrongfully expect that the feeling will last.

Unfortunately the one thing we can all count on, as sure as we know the sun will rise tomorrow, is that our feelings will change. How we feel right now is not a great indicator that we’ve discovered an ideal match for a long-term relationship.

The 5 Stages Of Relationship begins with the Romance Stage.

This phase is a chemical high that will eventually wear off. Chemistry is an essential ingredient for love to last — however, it's not the only component that is required.

Be wary of any relationship that has a truncated Romance Stage. By it’s nature the Romance Stage will be easy, however, it is not meant to last forever.

Ideally, the Romance Stage puts enough gas in the tank of the relationship to allow the couple to make it through the second phase of relationship.

The Power Struggle is the hangover from the Romance Stage. In this phase each person will individuate within the relationship and through this process a tug-of-war ensues.

Most people searching for True Love bail on the relationship once the power struggle begins, because the relationship no longer feels "easy."

It’s the attachment to love being easy forever that is the source much misery, and a key contributing factor to the divorce rate on first marriages.

The fact that challenges have materialized doesn’t mean this is not the right person for you long-term. It’s how a couple navigates through those challenges that will be a good indicator of whether this is a lasting match or not.

Remember as well that sex is instinctual, whereas monogamy is a social construct.

So in today’s modern world, it's not necessary for people to be coupled, and it's certainly not required.
This means that moving through all five Stages Of Relationships and beyond isn't something that will simply occur when you least expect it.

Most couples make a lifelong commitment to one another in the Romance Stage of relationship and reach the Power Struggle Stage while planning, or shortly after, the wedding ceremony.

But it’s not until the fourth phase of a relationship that a couple has discovered enough about each other to be in the Commitment Stage.

True Love must be lasting love, or it isn't love at all.

True Love must be fully realized or fulfilled, and that occurs over decades together by continuing to choose each other.

Choosing the same person over and over and over again is a skill that can be learned.

Then comes the question of why we bother to partner up at all?

The answer, we believe, lies in a Swedish proverb: "Shared joy is double joy, Shared sorrow is half sorrow."

Going through life in a True Soul Partnership doubles your joy and cuts your sorrow in half.

Life will present challenges and throw us curve balls whether we are partnered or not.

Our question for you is this: What would your life be like if you had the support of your beloved by your side?



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U.S. Daily News: This Is What True Love Really Means (And How To Find It)
This Is What True Love Really Means (And How To Find It)
U.S. Daily News
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